Kicking In Mr.Happy

Change: It can never be a mistake

2011-03-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps,

4 days left and I'm going to be unemployed again. It has been a very good 8 weeks and I enjoyed doing what i'm doing. Though I can't say the same about my students.

This time I am teaching mathematics and additional mathematics. I've always believed that I am not good in maths but I kinda proved myself wrong. I am pretty much good and talented (Bwahhaha!). But of course teaching is nothing about being good in the subject. Teaching is about being a genius in making your listener understands what you are trying to deliver to them and making sure they remember and able to repeat it.

For that reason, I without fail always have the cold feet and my heart racing everytime I started a new lesson. I am TERRIFIED and I am so dissapointed with myself. For the same reason, I hate that when some people takes teaching lightly. Its not a job you can pick up when you don't have anything else. Its not a last resort. So, never ever tell me you're teaching just because this is the only thing left to do because if you're doing this because of money I hope you will never be happy.

Its harsh I know. I have very good reason for this. The thing is I have been blessed with very good dedicated teachers in my life. There are no words that I can say that can explain how fortunate I am to be one of their students. These teachers spent most of their time with us than their families. They try so hard to make sure we succeed in our lives. They put up with our teenage rebel. They saw us through the hard and good times. They were there for us in place of our parents.

That is why I can never regret my decision 7 years ago. I met jerks and fools but the wonderful peoples I met triumphs all. Friends, teachers and foes. I adore the former and hate the latter accordingly. I can very much excel if I stay but I trust that all the me now is very much influence by the change that I made 7 years ago.

And maybe through this very much uncomfortable experience I can find myself just like I did 7 years ago?

Are you ready?

2011-03-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

salam and hello guys!

Herm. Really sorry for the consecutive depressing post guys. Wait, wth im sorry for? its my blog. I can say anything i want here. jk. Really, I feel bad but not sorry of course. You can stop reading if you wanted to.

Just to clear some things. I'm not that depressed or emotional or easy to say a bitch about everything. I am too polite for that. Yeah, I just said that. contradict much? heh.

So, the main reason for this post is searching for yourself. All of you must have someone you know that has been working for 40 years or even longer in the same company. Their last promotion might be 10 years ago. They are paid almost the same except for a few increments for every few years and they do the same things every day. Woke up, have breakfast, get in the office, lunch, meetings, and get back home to their wife/ husband and family and we can all agree that they're happy because i believe many of us are raise by such parents.

My question is is it happiness? Is it happiness that woke them out of bed? Is it happiness that drives them at work? Is it happiness that they can smile at the end of their day and play with their kids, jokes with the wife/husband and get ready for the next day? (oh, its going to be depressed post again)

Basically what I'm saying is I'm still jobless. HAHAHAHAAH........ and I don't think I can find one at the rate of vacancies in where I live. and don't ask me why I don't migrate. I am bonded by blood and responsibilities.

No, what I'm saying is has I come to 'that' time. 'That' time where you finally realized that for unfortunate few you are the selected ones to join 'the worker'. 'That' time where dreams are dreams and life is cruel and reality dawned to you like never before.

I still have that 'dot' of hope and dreams inside of me that I hide deep under my bed so even if at the end I did become one. Someday in the future maybe I'll find it while cleaning (and free from the bond and responsibilities) and decided to make it come true?

Maybe that can be my driving power to face the world?

Let it out

2011-03-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

When I first started blogging, I thought it would be fun, sharing stories be it fictional or true stories of your life. Through time, writing has been my way to escape. Letting go my frustrations and especially anger. I don't express this feelings very well in real life. So, writing here or in my journal has been like a therapy to me. Keeping me sane in this reality.

Because of that, often I will turn here to let everything out. They say keeping it all inside can be poison. Its true. There are nights or moments when everything just went wrong and you just can't keep that smile on your face and be patient about it so, little tears came out from your eye. I called it the rice cooker effect. Its the seconds before your rice is cooked, the pressure's so high but you keep holding it in. So, little steam came out from the holes and turn into water.

After those tears, it feels like I can do it again. I can go out there, smile and live my life. No matter how hard it is or we thought it was.

-END-

2011-02-24T15:53:00.000+08:00

or not?

My philosophy on getting rid of things is 'If i have not use it in 3 months and not planning to use it in next 3 months then i'll get rid of it'. No matter what.

so, i was contemplating whether i should just delete this blog for good.

Sometimes its better to shut up ...

2010-12-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

I am not good. I want to be grumpy. I want to punch and killed that stupid waitress that messed up with my order. I want to just yelled 'stupid' to the receptionist that just doesn't get what I want. I want to be that difficult customer. I want to be that ridiculous passenger. But i don't.

I don't.

Because I, unfortunately don't have the luxury to do that.
Because I, unfortunately know that sometimes I just had a bad day.
Because I, unfortunately meet you on your bad day
and I, fortunately know that letting it out on you just doesn't do it.
and I, fortunately know that sometimes its better to shut up and listen.

So, why can't you do the same?
WHY!?

The Cold Summer.

2010-12-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

I thought Seoul was cold but here its just freezing.

I came back for this? Huh. How can we be so dysfunctional.

Like I can say anything about that huh?

I know it was rotting but this is just far crossing the line.

This is twisted.

2010-11-21T02:55:00.001+08:00

• There's no one crazier than your family.
• I wanted to talk but I can't.
• What do you think I should do?
• Can I let go of everything? Do you think I'm capable of that?

Sarawak's Kampung Budaya

2010-11-06T13:55:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

Its a beautiful Saturday isn't it? I'm going out to a cousin's late birthday lunch later. For today, I just would like to share some of the picture taken during my father retirement program. My mom couldn't make it so I tag along with my father but later get ditched my father too T_T


This is the dinner. That blurry short man is my father receiving some awards for his 26 years serving at the company.

The CEO is funny. I think he just works too hard. He's a norwegian, I think. He just transferred here for a year. It was a boring dinner but the food was terrific. I never eat so much and obliviously to my surrounding. (This is possible because there is no one except for the waiter/waitress around my age)I especially love the dessert.


The next day is a visit to Sarawak Cultural Village.

My father decide to go home accompanying my mother at breakfast. So, I was all by myself. (The company provide a 2 night stay at Pullman Hotel btw). Again stranded alone I just do what I always do. Talking to myself. I'm getting better at it. I even laugh at my own joke.

The view is breathtaking huh? Its beautiful.

Its one of the stairs at Rumah Melanau. This one is especially high. It doesn't look like it but it really is scary once you on it.


I'm boring so i did some selca.

The day ended up with another mouth-watering lunch but before that we had some cultural performance by the village people. Mostly are different types of dances by the different ethnic of Sarawak.

This is a short clip where one of the audience tried the 'sumpit'(?). I found it very entertaining and funny.

All in all, even with i ended up alone and i barely know anyone I had fun. For more detail about Kampung Budaya or Sarawak Cultural Village you can look it up at http://www.scv.com.my/

How to get there:
40 minutes drive from Kuching
5 minutes walk from Holiday Inn Resort Damai Beach

General Admission:
RM 60 for Adult, RM 30 for Child

It is open 0900 - 1645 and the cultural shows starts at 1130 and another one at 1600. Each shows are about 45 minutes long.

Test 1

2010-11-05T23:14:00.001+08:00

Testing! 1 2 3 ~~Test2~~ Test3

I'm listening to..

2010-11-01T14:48:00.001+08:00

*Jung Sungha - Kiss from a Rose

Awesome right? This guy is amazing! Well, that's me a tone deaf and knows nothing about music. If you're going to say otherwise? Did I ask your opinion?

2010-11-01T13:30:00.000+08:00

It has been a few long months since I've done this tagging thing. Thanks to my newly wedded friend. The always beautiful Pearl Ned-Ya yg honoured me with this award.

1) write 5 interesting facts about the person who gave you this award?

1. Dah kawen! ~~(jelesnyeee... :-p)~~

2. Kenal mase kt UKM.

3. Comel dan cantik selalu

4. Suka sgt dengan purple (xpenah jumpe org obses sgt dgn kaler..)

5. Peramah tapi tegas orgnye..

2) write down 10 interesting facts about yourself and your hobby?

1. Penganggur separuh masa. (ade ker cmtu?)

2. Freelancer (ker?) kat a rising concert promoter company.

3. Suatu masa dulo penah bercita2 nk jd writer. (but my writing skill is a disaster)

4. Sekarang bercita-cita nk jd travel writer. (but my mum strictly against this T_T not the writing part but the travelling part) So, i dont have a permanent job right now. Aside from the occasional projects yg keep me occupied 2-3 months.

5. Money is not everything. but everything needs money. Yet, jgn jadi hamba duit.

6. Kalau Pearl Ned-Ya penangis tegar sye pon cmtu. I am a sucker for slow/ mendayu-dayu punye lagu or crite yang seumpama dgnnya. (thus, i avoid it!)

7. Since i avoid anything mendayu-dayu, I love thriller, gory, bloodsheed movie.

8. I love anything soothing music, colours and everything nice.

9. For now, I live for the moment. Don't need you all to say make plans for the future. I know it more than you do.

10. Love sushi and a good bread.

3) pick your most 10 deserving recipients and describe them?

anonymous and all the spammers hahahh......

2010-10-30T09:37:00.000+08:00

2010-10-29T19:01:00.002+08:00

aku nang xda hak utk merajuk. tp mun terus cmtok, i will.

For your attention

2010-10-29T13:49:00.001+08:00

I'm not stupid. I'm just a little bit too patience. A little bit too much for my own good. I don't get angry if I'm being misunderstood. I don't get angry if I waited for 10minutes or one hour. I don't get angry if I am treated unfairly. I just don't get mad that easily.

But don't make the dangerous assumption that I'm stupid, I'm easy and you can used me as you like. I just thought that maybe it's your first day, maybe it's the traffic, maybe you just had it worse today. Because I think everyone deserve a second chance and sometime you just had a bad day of all the days.

But sometimes, I had my bad day too. and on those days I'm sensitive, I'm grumpy, I'm annoying, and I lose it (my patience) easily and it's super not helping if you're going all around 'Is she having PMS?' 'I think she's having PMS' 'Yeah, it's PMS'.

I just had a bad day. I don't need an insensitive comments from you not even a pep-talk. What's more a scolding from you. I am an independent mind. I am a wise girl. I am beautiful even if others said otherwise.

I am the girl behind every successful man. I am the girl that makes her man the happiest in the world. I am the girl you let go and regret it your whole life.

I need you to be quiet, to be understanding and make yourself invisible (yes! make yourself disappear). If you can't do that, go away. If you think you can, then I need your phone number. (or rombongan meminang ke XX, Tmn XXX XXXXX.

crap by me.

Yet I'm Here Again.

2010-10-22T19:48:00.002+08:00

Salam and Hey peeps!

Sometimes you feel like shit and at times like this I can't help to feel hopeless and frustrated. It feels like its never going to be the way I want it to be and the world just a big scary place ready to eat you alive.I don't feel good. I'm not in a good mood. I feel like screaming and swearing everyone around me.

Sadly at times like this I wish I had that someone to sit there with me in silence while drinking good coffee and just by being there can make me thinks that everything will be okay.

I just wanted to tell you that.

Hope tomorrow i feel better.

Itch at the back.

2010-10-22T14:48:00.000+08:00

It took me a long time to decide what to write in this post. I contemplate whether to write angry, full of rage post or to be understanding and tried to explain what actually happen that faithful day. I decided not to stoop that low and save us, them and all of us some pride.

All those things that have been said I'm actually very thankful to those that supported us all the way through. But i do want to express a few things cause I'm still a little bit bothered and i just to scratch off the itch.

What do you expect us to do with the rain? We're not allowed to let you in until they finished their rehearsal. Are we obligated to set up tent or provide you with umbrella. How do you expect us to start the show on time? They were taking they sweet time to get ready despite countless reminder. The changes in show content? We are as frustrated as you, we paying them money but they don't deliver what they promised.

This is not the stand the company take. It's just my own personal opinion. I don't get it but apparently people thinks that a young company like us who (if god willing) has many events to be held in the future decided to ruin the trust consumer's given us and the companys' reputation for future sake. Well, maybe we missed the news.

tell me.

2010-10-15T17:07:00.001+08:00

Tell me if I whine
Endlessly for the smallest thing
Tell me if I sigh
For all the trivial thing

Tell me to cherish life
To stop sighing and whining
Tell me to start living
To never give and always smiling

Life is but short and funny
To the butterfly out of its cacoon
An ugly life to pretty flowers
I hope you've found yours.

15102010
1708

Random.

2010-10-10T16:23:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello!

*I never thought i would say this but I really do miss him. I know right? It's crazy. Ok, I don't want to turn into a sappy, chessy, mushy kinda girl so I'm going to stop at that.

*I totally think Coldplay should release a longer version for parachute!

*The truth is ugly. Guys prefer pretty, beautiful ladies. That's it.

*Sometimes I think I should just do it. I should just run.

*I need a laptop. I want a macbook pro 15". Pretty please...

"Tell me you love me

Come back and haunt me ..."

-The scientist, Coldplay

The phone call.

2010-10-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

I'm in a good mood currently. Heeee.... No reason. but im happy. Oh, I'm flying to KL next weekend for this.

I'm not actively involved in this project. Since, I'll take care mostly this side ofand with my day job it is already a chaos.

a step back.

2010-10-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

Salam and ola amigos!

It has been a few days since starting my new job and I started to get the hang of it. So, I thought. Today has been particularly upsetting. I have no energy to do anything so i ended up doing a crappy job.

To not be able to be the best is one thing but to not do your best is so frustrating. I am mad at myself. I cant keep on going back and forth. I need to master this fast! There is no time for mistake and I absolutely cant messed this up.

May I have strength to overcome everything.

"The wil to keep trying is often the difference between success and failure"

-David Sarnoff-

raindrops.

2010-10-04T21:17:00.001+08:00

it's 6.30 am

It was raining this morning. It was cold and breezy. The road was jam packed especially near the school. but I love it. I love it so much. I love the noise the rain was making on the roof of my cheap, old, second hand car that we bought from my grandmother. (Yes from my grandmother. No, its not THAT old). and I love when we can move slowly in the traffic. Its like the time move slower (of course its not!) because I AM SO FREAKING LATE TO WORK!

Its supposed to be my 143rd post.

2010-10-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

This is for you
For your time
For your words
And for you being you

You always seems collected, and I
Always trying to figure you out
I guess you already know that, don't you?
Is that why you'll never tell me
that you love me?
that you miss me?
that you want me?

Its okay to not love me forever
Its okay to not miss me sometime
Its okay to be apart once in awhile
Its okay because i've figured you out.

You always walk me to the door
so you can be with me that extra 15 second
you always tells me how's your day
so you can end it with a call to me
You tell me you hate the pickles in your burger.
and I know you're trying to say

I wish you here with me because I miss you so damn much.
143.

2010-08-03T17:48:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

Ha! I just can't explain myself anymore. I keep on doing it. Posting one post, disappeared for a few months and come back writing one post starting "Its been awhile since my last post" then disappeared again for a few months. Its kinda frustrating to read right? Even for me.

I went out with a friend earlier today for lunch and window shopping but the highlights of the day is when she said 'you look like you lost some weight'. Wah... I'm dancing. Heee.......

Im getting sleepy. I promise to write more but for now lets take a nap. Ngeh ngeh ngeh.

Have a great day everyone!

CAT-ass-trophic

2010-05-27T00:57:00.001+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

I havent write anything for quite sometime huh? I'll try to write more in the future. Well, not that anyone is complaining. Tonight, I went out with the girls to watch movies and then grab some supper on the way back. Nothing special just the usual talk about how's life. But then, my cousin's guy was sitting next to me. We were crowding ourselves to a small table and everyone is quite close to each other. The story goes

guy: you got pimple huh?
me: ya, you don't know ka?
guy: I know la, but its like getting worse.. it's all merah-merah
me: ya...
guy: you didn't care ka?
me: ....awkward silence..
guy: you didn't care ka?
me: well, not that i didn't care..
guy: you should you know. Nanti got scars, then cannot hilang
me: Ah! There's your food..

Ok. Tell me. What should I have said. I don't know why I froze. I really don't know how I should have replied him. I guess I was just to shock to think of anything and he even add while refering to his girlfriend aka my cousin 'like this girl, already got scars on her face'. Double shock.

Anyway, now that I'm home I have to start to worried about my skin and my weight! I tend to put on some fats here and there staying home.

We went to pitbull concert at Montkiara fulfilling an invitation aka free tickets. It was bizarre for me. I, dont know who's singing and dj thing. I'm like standing there. Puzzled. Hahah....

Next on the calender. Might be attending Rossa's concert and flying to the neighbour country for some medical related thing or just stay at home. herm..

Anyway, Let's Have A Great Day!

p.s: who's excited for Metallica concert in Malaysia?

p.p.s: any vacancies for me?

Hey, Love!

2010-05-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hellllllo Everyone! read it in a very cheery tone

I'm alive! yes, you read it right! I'm ALIVE. What I meant is, now i really felt like I actually live life. I'm on a highway speeding. Still not sure where my destination is but at least for now I'm back on the road. I'm feeling the positive energy and it's a great feeling.

I still have along way to understand myself but for now I feel content. I would never stop searching but for now anything is fine. I might not be able to feel like you do but for now being comfortable with you is enough.

~~I kinda miss you.~~

Seriously.

2010-05-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

Really? Like seriously?? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

You are scary.

2010-05-01T02:00:00.000+08:00

You are a wonder
That's what they said
But I'm thinking of the other
You are actually so sad

Listening to you
Talking with you
I'm sorry I just can't do it
You are just plain scary

Maybe I'm the problem

Since you're doing just fine
Maybe you're the problem
but I'm not sure if I'm fine

Then, what happen to me?

2010-05-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

Another new favourites, Ingrid Michaelson

You and I
by Ingrid Michaelson

don't you worry, there my honey
we might not have any money
but we've got our love to pay the bills                  *Though I don't think so

maybe I think you're cute and funny,
maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you,
if you know what I mean                             *I have no clue, sorry.

Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France
let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
and teach them how to dance
let's get rich and build our house on a mountain     *I prefer on the valleys not mountain, landslide brrrrr...
making everybody look like ants
from way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,

well you might be a bit confused
and you might be a little bit bruised
but baby how we spoon like no one else
so I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

ahaks.... Yeah, I'm bored. Bear with me.

Boys with Girlfriend

2010-04-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

Youtube surfing. Found this awesome song by Meiko.

Boys with Girlfriend
by Meiko

When i first met you i knew you were the one
till you took me home and met her
she had your boxers on
she was listening to your song
and i thought right then that you had everything

But i knew
she was jealous from the start
yeah i knew
she was jealous from the start

Cos i know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends
oh i know better than that i know better
you play the victim and i'll be the bad guy
i know better than that, i know better
(oh oh oh oh oh oh X2)

We started hanging around after 9
i couldve sworn you i was yours
you looked at me and said
its a little too late for bed
we went to hopesal and
talked about everything

But i knew
she was jealous from the start
yeah i knew
she was jealous from the start

Cos i know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends
oh i know better than that i know better
you play the victim and i'll be the bad guy
i know better than that, i know better
(oh)

What she did to us was tragic
oh oh oh
and i have to do what's right
oh oh oh
what we had was really magic
oh oh oh
but i have to get what's mine
oh
i don't get what's mine
and you get yours

Cos i know better not to be friends with boys with girlfriends
oh i know better than that i know better
you play the victim and i'll be the bad guy
i know better than that, i know better
(oh)
X 2

What do you think?

Crapylicious..

2010-04-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello!

Now, it really has been a long time since my last entry. Saying I'm busy would be a lie. A LOT has happened. I went back to Kuching then back to KL then had a short trip to Seoul, Korea. Bogoshippo!! no pictures since it will be too controversial and now back to KL. I'll definitely planning to go Korea again. Kyaaa~~~

Talking about another holiday, you might be wondering why does my holiday never ended? I don't even have the answers. It has been nearly a year and I still don't have the answer. The only thing that I get to know is what I would not want to do but not what I want to do. forever. The thing is I think I know how to get the answer but I'm afraid to know the answer. I'm afraid that I can't do it. forever. Confusing much? That's pretty much how it feels to be in my head. My neurons are degrading like a 100 years ahjumma.

wait. give me five minutes.

There. I'm all good and cheery now. (<_>). The finale for my undergraduate studies finally have a date after a YEAR long delay that seems like eons ago. I am nervous. So nervous and traumatic even before the 'show' cause I'm just freaking out. I have to read and learn everything all over again to get ready with the 'show'. My heart goes 100km/h just writing about the 'show'. stupid. stupid. take a deep breath.

On a completely unrelated event. I really honestly seriously love you! Cinderella sister's is growing on me and Chun Jung Myung is smexy in those uniforms ~~or without it~~!

Let's have a great week, ok guys? *wink2

I'm still here,

2010-03-29T13:42:00.000+08:00

Salam and hello peeps!

I'm dragging my lazy fingers and blacked out mind to write here.

How's life treating y'all?

Mine?

Could have been better. Through and through.

A lot has happened. I don't even know where to start.

One thing on mt mind right now is I would like to runaway from here.

Someone kidnap me!

Dysfunctional

2010-03-11T01:35:00.000+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

I'm sleepy. Its midnight but I just needed to rambles for a few seconds. Thank god I'm sleepy, if not it would go on and on. For what seems like forever since about 14 days ago, my grandparents has been crashing at our (us single working girls) house. Our little condo now are packed with relatives and people, literally. One good thing that come out of it is we actually wake up early to send them for treatment at Gleneagles. Its chaotic and tiring with everything that has already needed attention in our hand.

I wouldn't have mind any of it. Taking care and accompanying them during the treatment but the ~~constant nagging~~ unending advise is just intolerable. Plus, the weird habits! OMFG, I just ended up rolling our eyes in shock and disbelief. What? I'm just exaggerating? Rummaging through the dustbin, picking up leftover in there, wash it, re-fried it again and serve it for breakfast. Keeping food for days till it smells. and drying leftover rice TO bring back to KUCHING. and she's only going back end of this month. I'm losing it.

Not enough with that, i have to deal with their stubbornness and illogical thinking. If she my grandma not sane it would be better since I know she's not clear in the head. I know you would think me being disrespect but trust me I only dare be disrespect writing this. Getting deeper into our family, you'll realize how dysfunctional and twisted we are.

Anyway, let's just have a good night sleep and a great day tomorrow ya!

Super Junior Exclusive Merchandise Pre-Sale

2010-03-01T02:05:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with Super Junior The 2nd Asia Tour Super Show 2 Live in Malaysia, the Organiser, Redstar Presents will import 1,300 sets of exclusive concert merchandize, comprising of “a Q Animal Tshirt and a Flag”. These hot-selling merchandize are sold out in other countries but will be up for grabs for Malaysian fans.

Redstar Presents and the event management company, Marctensia will conduct a Merchandize Pre-sale Event for fans to book the merchandize items in advance. The merchandize Pre-sale event will be held on Saturday, 6 March 2010 at T-hop Zone, 6th Floor, Sungei Wang Plaza. Each merchandize set comes in 12 different packages with 2 items per set at RM120. Purchase is limited at maximum 2 sets per fan only on first-come-first-serve basis.

Those who successfully acquired the merchandize sets will qualify to further buy concert tickets at 15% discount.
Redemption of merchandize sets are carried out on the day of the concert on-the-spot at the foyer of Putra Indoor Stadium from 4pm – 7pm. Proof of receipt is necessary and late-comers will not be entertained.

cr: redstar presents

2010-02-20T14:31:00.001+08:00

I'll be back.

Heartbeat

2010-01-28T01:14:00.002+08:00

Your silhouette makes my heart flip
Your stares makes me uneasy
I'm so nervous but yet
I'm so happy.

Your words sings to my ear
Your laugh feels like tingle to my soul
who are you? I asked
an alien that turns my waking hour into a dream?

you smiled, it stunned me
but your eyes look sad
What's the matter? I asked
but you didnt say anything.

0149. 280110. snj

Finally.....

2010-01-14T09:53:00.001+08:00

Please Come E.L.Fians
and packed the stadium
(so that we can bring them back again next year!!!)

optimism. always.

2010-01-13T02:50:00.002+08:00

Salam and Hello peeps!

Its 0255 hour. I just finished with laundry (half of it, really!) and now continuing with my movie some korean horror movie called 'Possessed' while listening to so nyuh shi dae's Tell Me Your Wish. Amazing multitasking huh?

Anyway, Life so far is good. The Project is going on well. We've just closed the deal and now busy preparing for the BIG day. Officially the news will be in today's chinese language newspaper. Well, I hope so. It has to!

I'm trying hard to be optimistic these day. It's hard but bitching about this is sad. I'm doing my best in everything and I am trying to be the best. My problem is I kinda without any-self-control make things complicated than it is due to excessive analyzing by my brain. My growing empathy-sm doesn't help at all since I keep putting myself in others shoes so practically I'm ignoring my own feelings and keeping my emotion inside. Yes, I'm pathetic but don't mess with me. Since they said sleeping volcanoes makes the worst eruption. (Well, something like that.)

On the next note, Its double two now! bummer or great? Lets think positively and pray that 2010 is a great year for the career path of my life and my spiritual side especially.

All in all peeps. Lets rock the concert Super Junior 2nd Asia Tour: Super Show2 in Malaysia on the 20th March at National Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil. You'll see me running around or standing awkwardly at one corner. Ngeh Ngeh Ngeh....

Hope You All Had A Great Good Night Sleep!

2010

2010-01-01T22:05:00.003+08:00

Salam and Hello 2010!

2010 is celebrated in front of the TV and watching without subtitle the KBS Drama Award on KBSWorld. I'm hopelessly too hopeless. Anyway, I hope you all out there actually had a great time.

The Gang actually planning a picnic this coming sunday. I'm feeling under the weather. Great timing huh? Since I have another 24 hours to get better so lets pray hard to get better.

I'm feeling feverish and in dark moods. So, people enjoy your holidays and be healthy!

Have a Great Day Dear All!

Its Raining Here

2009-12-29T09:57:00.004+08:00

Sort of~

Salam and Hello Netizens!

I'm thinking of shutting down my blog here. It does not serve the purpose I want it to be when I decided to do this. I don't want to rush on these. So, I'm still thinking.

Anyway, like I said countless time 2009 is not a good year for me. It doesn't help either that is nearing to its end but I'm praying that 2010 will change that and also the new hijiriah.

+In hope that things will change for me in 2010 I hope I can also change for a better. These day, i can be a melodrama actor. My tears can fall down like rain at NOthing. I'm sel-di (self-diagnose) that I'm depressed. Jeezzz... I hate being a sensitive biatch.

+My studies is holding me at one spot. Not able to move, I'm here stuck. Well, pondering about that all day serve me no good. So, I'm looking for job, while searching for a temporary part time that can give me money to feed my mouth but to no avail. Currently, jobless and pennyless I'm helping a little bit here and there for a BIG project lead by a relative.

+This BIG project required working with a Koreans and they are so demanding and fussy. What the hell with alphard and BMW 3series or above? Okay, maybe the statement did not imply to all koreans but the Entertainment Industry sure wants alot! And guys cool down! Whats with all the dispute with your recording company when we are this close to closing the deal. Just stay put, dont go drink and punch people, or hit and run or cancelling your contract whatever. Come back to your senses, sing and entertain people cause thats what people want you to do.

+I'm a bad girl. I always is actually. I hid it with my good girl act and smile. You just have to control it. Not saying anything bad and just listen helps in building the image. If you really need to speak up your mind, do it only in your mind. No pun intended. It sure helps me being twisted and introvert. Why suddenly saying all these weird things? well, I don't mind not saying things because I rarely see things i dont like since i really am blessed with great friends and company. Of course things change when someone not worth of me knowing their existense say things they have no business in and worst is critizising me? Whoa..I guess I overeact.... Well, that is an example of controlling yourself from saying things in your mind. If you do, put thousands of layer to it.

+Aside from being a sensitive b, I'm also losing my temper fast these days.

one of the few things that able to make me laugh these days. watch it and you'll agree.

well, I hope you all have a great day!

SMILE it makes you happy. Trust me.

blinded

2009-12-22T01:22:00.003+08:00

am i a fool
that never say the right word
that never be at the right place
that always have the wrong timing

am i fool
to let you say whatever you wish
to let you do whatever you want
to let you treat me like this

i am a fool
to not say a thing
to not stand up for myself
to still let myself blush in pink

i am a fool
to think you know me
to think that i know you
when i know nothing all this time

i am a fool
thats what you said
when i told you my heart
when ive had enough

youre the foolish one
for not knowing what you lost
for not realizing that day i walk
i walk to the future ahead
without you in it.

snj. 0137.091222.
insp.091219.

Im thinking...

2009-12-15T16:21:00.003+08:00

the promised place

im thinking
a coffee house with a sidewalk
looking out to a nicely empty road
apposite a worn out bookstore with a hot owner

im thinking
a nice colourful spring
with a whiff of freshly cut grass
and serenity creeps in my soul

im thinking
it would be nice
to have your smile
to have your scent
to have your eyes staring into mine

im dreaming always
your intoxicated laugh
your strangling words
and your deadly existence
but a dream is as it is

i let you go
to fulfill your destiny
i let you go
for you to come back

gidarida

1640.15122009.snj

yet again...

2009-12-04T13:40:00.003+08:00

salam and hello people!

once i promise myself not to
to get myself here again
then again im here
pathetic huh?
not talking is bad
normal people need to talk
but its hard, i know
cause i am like that
i put myself in that room
locked and alone
blocking anyone coming in
i live like that for so long
how do you expect me to change?

Yeah, i have the dark side lingering in my mind. so need to get it out. physically too. so, im going out. breathing the polluted air of KL. and lastly, I need a new phone. My phone is already dead. My phone of 5 years. Aish.. I want iPhone. Sent me as a gift eh?

Enough with my bs.

Have a SuperGREAT day peeps!

guilty pleasure

2009-12-02T13:56:00.004+08:00

Salam and hello!

Yikes! It has been a LOOOONG time since i splurged on books. I miss reading. James patterson, John Grisham, Jodi Picoult. Oh, they're my favourite writers. Due to my financial crisis, ive been holding on my desire and use money for food only. The last book i bought was John Grisham's The Associate I think. And it really doesn't help at all because Patterson's is publishing the 8th installment for the Women's Murder club and also for Alex Cross's which i haven't finished collecting yet. Urghhhh.......

Yeah, it has been tough though I occasionally went to see movies that cost me around rm8 to rm10 but other than that nothing. Thank god im not into shoes, bags or clothes. I wore hand me down, moms and charity clothes. hoho~~

Anyway, yesterday i went out. The condo's is suffocating. I need air. So, decide to go mid valley. Bought myself Papa Beards cream puff. LOVING IT. I am still on a tight budget not much different from last few months. So, I shut my eyes tight and bought two books.

James Patterson's Cross Country
Jane Austen's Emma

I had my own justification. Well, JP's is on 20% discount and JA's classic only cost rm13.90. heee... I know thats alot considering i can get it cheaper. Be nice to me eh? I need to read!

Have a great day, people!

im not married.. yet.

2009-11-30T19:48:00.004+08:00

salam and hola peeps!

Its been a few days of eid. This year like last year was celebrated here in Kuala Lumpur. Its me and my lovely sister. Single and Very Much Available. Bwah~ Yeah how can we, two beautiful ladies can be boyfriendless and much more friendless.

After accepting the fact that we are both indeed going to spend hari raya with each other 'so lets make it at least somewhat fulfilling' thats what we think. (At this point, Im no longer understand what Im trying to deliver).

Anyway, we wake up at 7am (surprisingly!) and have our breakfast with some french toast and ayam masak merah. Oh, we cook the night before. Its my first time trying to cook. wahhaha~~~ To its not up to my moms cooking which i dont know what i did wrong. but its edible. (If and only if the taste is bad my sis surely knows how to act). Then, at 8am we head off to Masjid Al-Syakirin at KLCC. Sembahyang raya started at 8.30am and kinda ended on 9.30 am.

While waiting for my sis I sit at the back with this little girl and her sister. The little sister was staring at me and then whispered something to her sister. Sometime later, we kinda get into a conversation that i just found hilarious. Something like this..

LG: Akak tunggu orang ke?
Me: Aha, tunggu kakak. Korang tunggu mak ey?(personally i was shocked at this little girl ability to socialize. she noncholantly engage in a conversation to stranger easily)
LG: aah, mak ngan akak.
Me: datang satu family ke?
LG: aah, datang dengan mak, ayah, kakak, abg dengan adik ayah.

Seems like a normal conversation right? Then suddenly,

LG: akak, akak ni kaye ke?
ME: !!!!!! eh, tak la. nape cakap camtu?
LG: .... (she doesnt seem satisfied with the answer).

sometime later, she asked again.

LG: Akak, akak dah kawen ke?
ME: !!!!!!!!!!!!

I was shocked! I don't really see it coming. There is a theory though and a conclusion i made. Eons ago, a friend told me something along the line that I am high maintenance girl which i completely disagree. COMPLETELY. I can't see why would someone think like that towards me. And another friend told me that before she got to know better she always sees me as someone arrogant.. ah, i dont know. Do i really give this kinda vibe to people. No wonder I'm boyfriendless. We'll talk about this later.

Anyway, after solat we went to KLCC to watch New Moon. Its still early and closed but there are already people waiting outside. These people sure are crazy. Anyway, watched it and NOT LIKING IT. It sucks big time. I watched the first movie and very excited about it. After watching New Moon, I thought 'I must be crazy liking Twillight at the first place'. I just couldnt understand whats the hype is about but the funny thing is I had to fake about liking it in front of my sister cause she's just into it (and cause she paid for the movie). (T_T)

Holiday Mood?

2009-11-24T22:52:00.004+08:00

salam and Hello people!

We are entering the last week of November. Today I literally wake up, switch on the wireless modem, and the laptop, to the kitchen preparing some toast and nescafe and stuck my face on youtube the whole day. Well, i did had my shower at 2pm and solat. I need a hobby! because i dont want to work. yet. Anyway, thats basically what i do these days at home. Gaining weight and fat. i need to exercise.

After settling things at school, i might considering flying back to Kuching. I am in no mood to answer questions on why can't i graduate when I even finish everything thats need to be done to my parents. Yeah, some fuck up system says cant register subjects even if its the only subject i need to fulfilled for graduation, its a computer system created by human, yeah us! how annoyingly twisted shit is that? I even already finished the damn report for marking. On some completely diffrent matter, I am 99% determine not to attend post graduate studies. Why? Dunno, really nami?. I really should made up my mind huh? Sometimes, I even decided to just sign up for the teaching course. Maybe my mum is right afterall.

And since, i might be a ghost student for another 6 months. I'm considering this option.

1) Die. I'm done with life. Bummer, I cant kill myself. Next.
2) Go back. And what? Next.
3) Work. 7E? hahahah.......
4) Study. Nihon? Hangul? Mandarin? Gardening? Money is needed. So, need find money. Money=Work. Need Work.

So I gotta work eh?

and wishing I LOVE YOU to the two lovelies of mine..

You both know I really LOVE both of you right?
heheheh... No presents from me. Im ms. Jobless remember?

A.S.K

Tengok pic terpampang kat cni
nampak sangat bebudak lagi kan?
cepat betul masa berlalu kan?
padahal baru mcm semalam lagi
kte jumpa kat koridor
blok B tingkat 3 left wing, Kolej Ibrahim Yaakub, UKM
sembang pun sbb nk pinjam iron
(kalo xsilap nami la)
walaupun org akan cakap 3 tahun jer pun
tp mase tuh kte same2 membesar
dari budak hingusan yg tatau pape

makan makanan m.cik kepe same2
xmandi same2 kalo xde air kt kolej
bengkak mate same2 mase karnival ratu
walapun mate nana lebih2 plak mcm panda
gosip xingat dunia same2, g stalk org kat friendster same2
betape lame jer rasenye zmn friendster dulu :-p
sekarang dh facebook, sume plak dh ader akaun KWSP.
nanti2, blanjer la.

Well then, cukup reminiscing for today. Nanti lebih2 terlebih pulak.

Have A Good Day people!

If I Can Afford It

2009-11-19T20:56:00.003+08:00

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my life with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words
In other words, in other words
In other words
I love ... you

i love this song. especially when jang geun seuk singing it.

2009-11-17T21:28:00.002+08:00

i feel like im having an early 20s crisis.
2009 was not a good year
in fact, the worst year i've ever had
a lot of things that i want to forget
and i hope to never think about it.

i cant afford to be shock or sad
for what happens.

and yeah, i think i have stalkers.
and also something fishy is going around.

Because Its a Sunny Sunday

2009-11-15T20:39:00.003+08:00

Salam and good day peeps!

I went out today to some art exhibition. AHA! serious. I went to an art exhibition at Petronas Gallery at KLCC. An exhibition by Raja Shahriman Rhythm of the 21st century: Monologues of Raja Shahriman. Yeah, its pretty much what an introvert, socially disable, and loner like would do on a sunny beautiful sunday. Anyway, it was amazing and you all should check it out since its free and well AMAZING.

and also Im addicted to Burger King. Stuffing myself with Western Whopper. AHAHAHAHAH.... I know its lame. but i love it. BWAHAHAHHAH.......

something in my mind...

2009-11-10T15:09:00.001+08:00

dont feel like it but anyway

losing it all

2009-11-09T14:16:00.003+08:00

i am trapped. but i don't want to get out. slowly rotting in this misery. quenching the thirst of the ever satisfied evil. sucking everything into the darkness till nothing. out of nowhere that pinch of hope trembles me. asking the conciousness 'why am i doing this to myself? why am i so afraid to say it out loud? why am i still pretending? Why am i like this when i can be everything i want'

but the one thing that came crushing me down into little bit pieces 'Then, what do you want?'

I'm just loving it!

2009-11-05T11:31:00.003+08:00

We went to Cameron highland last weekend
Bought myself a pot of gloxynia plant.

Love these Hydrangeas!
My favourite!
but decided not to buy another one.
but i freaking love hydrangeas!!

A rainy day....

2009-10-29T20:23:00.003+08:00

Absolutely definately in love with Tae Kyung (Jang Geun Seuk)

salam and good day peeps!

How have you all been doing? Life has been slow and uneventful for me. class is over and all writing is finished. All that left is some finalising and a very doki-doki presentation that even the date is still not confirmed and not forgotten exams! . I'm secretly have been thinking the worst of it from time to time. And at that moment im secretly dreading it and I become depressed all over again. This time around I handled it better.

However, I went to Akon Freedom Beach Concert last week. For some extremely good reason, we managed to get free tickets to Akon and the regretfully postponed Beyonce vip tix *sigh. Since its free and all i got to do is just get my big ass there even if i dont even like Akon. Well, I went. No kidding, Akon literally just 2 feet from me. He's crazy and shirtless. bwahahhah.... Naive me is shocked! Im not a fan but i do listen to his song. So, I was like uh-okay.. All the hidden meanings was WOW! I'm hoping Beyonce's concert will be anytime soon and NOT cancelled!

Also, I want to watch this

You're Beautiful

I'm waiting 'patiently eagerly' for the dvd to come out. Since the drama is still airing looks like i will have to wait for few months at least. I actually hated to buy the DVD because the subtitles is SUCKS. I prefer the subs done by the subbing teams. But then video streaming doesn't seem interesting for the time being. and hate

Even the songs featured in the series is amazing. I especially love a song by Lee Hong Ki titles 'As Ever'. Here is it...

Its tuesday!

2009-10-20T14:04:00.004+08:00

Several things....

1. Once again, craze for korean drama
I know this is lame but i kinda like it. I, for quite sometime declared that korean just not for me. Their drama is lame, sappy, and tear-jerker with the i love you and always kinda theme. I hate that. Japanese drama is more my type. Its short, not too lovey-dovey and has various feelings to it and moderation.

I think its my hormone but last month i started to watch this drama called shining inheritance/ brilliant legacy. watched it cause the hero was my fav from long time ago, Lee Seung Gi. I think i have mentioned about him once. He is just soooo cute! well, i better stop. im starting to puke at myself. and theres this new drama called you're beautiful. damn, its jang geun seuk! love him!

well, i think i have soft spots for guys with great smile. *melting...

2. Its almost over.
peeps, im almost done! excitement finally creeps in and reality, lets just hold that a minute. job hunting can wait.

3. beyonce and akon.
got free vip tix to both. i plan to skip akon but last night they said beyonce's was postponed. so, not sure if i'm going to akon this weekend. i dont like it cause of the venue. seems like i had to find something more appropriate (for me! atleast) for the beach style and im guessing wild peeps.

4. just a few post ago, i mentioned about the wicked macbook and my hand-me-down laptop might have sense it. he decided to merajuk and now he decided to disable his dvd/cd reader. thus i can't read my dics anymore. Pls stop merajuk laptop. Do you really want to be replace by the handsome macbook? if you have the money, you would already do that eons ago! are you rebelling against me? huh! okay, we'll deal with this later! :-p

5. to mr. clyde. hurry come back! then, we can go on dates!

I want Chocolate shake with extra cream..

2009-10-13T16:36:00.002+08:00

btw, i hate whipped cream ;(

Got a call from a certain someone and
my mood gone crashing from sky high to the cracks of the centre of the earth.

i hate it!
gotta go fix this problem.

anyway, good day everyone!

Maggi Mee Curry and Vanilla Coke

2009-10-13T13:07:00.002+08:00

salam and hello people!

Today i decided to just stay at home. sleeping in late and just gazing time flies by. These few days has been weird for me. In rush to finish me project and feeling somewhat like I'm in love despite feeling heavy and suicidal. weird huh? Did any of you felt that way? im confused myself.

I can't remember why but im just weirdly happy. Many times i caught myself smiling by myself and wanting to say 'saranghae' to some stranger i met. I thought im going crazy and was thinking 'maybe i should get marry soon'. i couldn't just smile without reasons and said wo ai ni all of the sudden to all strangers right?

Look at my stat in facebook and ym. some people would think im crazy. I'm making this a big deal cause i really am feeling happy. i felt like someone is watching over me and giving me these strength and overflowing love. hahahahha..... No, seriously i am happy like (i dont know how it fells to be in love but these feeling is so good like) being in love.

Im saying crap right? hahah..

strawberry sundae

2009-10-09T01:01:00.001+08:00

just got back from the movies. wacthed sorority row and regretted it. we were supposedly be watching papadom but the seats full and only front row left and decided to watch it other time.

happy friday peeps!

Will you marry me?

2009-10-06T23:02:00.003+08:00

Lee Seung Gi (feat.Bizniz)
Will You Marry ME?

*i love it. so schweet and i'll marry you seung gi sshi!

The video accompanying the song is from the drama shining inheritance/brilliant legacy which i haven't not seen but already loving it cause i just love seung gi! ehehheheheh....

English Translated Lyrics:

Will you marry me? Will you live forever with me?
Whilst loving each other

I want to have a child that looks like me, another one that looks like you
And live, unhurt, for 1000, or 10000 years

To be honest with you, I like you more than you like me
And people say thats better between a man and a woman

Ill love you more. Ill take care of you
If you cry, if youre having a hard time, if youre hurt, Ill hurt with you

Ill love you forever, Ill protect you forever
Im thankful that Ive met someone like you
I want to love only you everyday

Will you marry me

Rap) Marry me, theres a feeling of happiness everyday
And I look forward to tomorrow with you
Why am I nervous
You are the best, no matter how much I look at you
Until our black hair becomes white
Until our lives end
Even if I put water to your hands, I wont put tears in your eyes

You as my half, Im as your half
Ill love you as long as I breathe

When time goes by and we get wrinkles
You and I will be together like now

Ill love you more. Ill take care of you
If you cry, if youre having a hard time, if youre hurt, Ill hurt with you

Ill love you forever, Ill protect you forever
Im thankful that Ive met someone like you
I want to love only you everyday

Rap) Youre like the light which lightened up my dark life
The sound of soup boiling greeting me
The rain that falls on my thirsty heart
The poem that contains the meaning of love
The string of destiny that the heavens have allowed
The meeting between you and I was meant to be
Youll be irreplaceable even if I was given the whole world
Youll be the only person in my life forever

Ill love you more. Ill take care of you
If you cry, if youre having a hard time, if youre hurt, Ill hurt with you

Ill love you forever, Ill protect you forever
Im thankful that Ive met someone like you
I want to love only you everyday

more music..

2009-10-06T19:59:00.003+08:00

Its the latest nano ipod. Wicked and weird.
It has a camera, wicked! It cannot take picture, bummer.
Why built a camera that can only shoots video but cannot take pictures.
and yeah you can pause the radio, funny eh and rewind it. hoho~~

Oh, I got the pretty little pink one from my cuzzie for hari raya.
(^.~)y
makes me really want to buy that damn macbook i saw last time. geezz...

if there's somewhere far away

2009-09-30T21:14:00.002+08:00

i would be the first one to go and dive

q(T_T)p

feeling the feeling

2009-09-30T00:23:00.002+08:00

salam and good day people!

ahh...in mere 6 hours ill be on my way to school. Damn. The feeling of sadness slowly creeps in and bottling up. Oh, is that the nervousness due to the unfinish assignment?

Anyway, receive some yummy gifts today. Not literally though. Story later.

Minna, Lets Just Hope For A Happy Day!

Hari Raya mood

2009-09-28T11:58:00.003+08:00

Salam and good day people!

I just wanted to share with you a new hari raya song. Well, not so new but i just got time to watch the videos. My initial thought was it's gonna be a boring and redundant but always fail efforts to actually insert the latest trend of music. The collabration between Raihan and Hujan prove to be just the right mix in producing Hari Raya song. The vid was awesome and i have to admit that i almost cried. Maybe the vid is alittle bit familiar. Maybe.

freaking out!

2009-09-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

salam and hola peeps!
and happy eid mubarak to all...

this year eid seems to lack of something. I'm not very in the mood of festivity. Most of the time spend in the kitchen or lock myself in the dungeon watching movies or even satisfying my addiction to sorority life at facebook. All in all, my eid is wasted this year.

and now my assignment! gosh! i have not done anything yet. I'm freaking out here. My photography course is killing me! with three different assignment due just shy couple of days I'm really dying here. Taking pictures is fine as long you are free to any theme. But school activities at night and day! I'm planning suicide. I would be fine with activities but school! you got to be kidding me. I don't even live in campus anymore and furthermore its holiday half of the period given. Arghhhhh!!!!

tonight it just have been confirm that im not going to further my studies. not that i already finish my degree but i was doing some research on prospective university out there. Guess i should just stop huh? My mother has made a strict point to come back after i finish my degree hopefully this november. nervous as hell.

anyway, enough of my therapy session. need to go to sleep.

salam and good day everyone!

when at night..

2009-09-26T19:03:00.002+08:00

when the curtain night falls
i can't stop but to gaze the dark sky
i close my eyes and feels
the feelings that made me dreamy

i dream of the starry night
with the feeling of you by my side
it is and it seems so right
and i continue to shut my eyes tight

but i know its just a dream
since you are not with me right now
you are there in the crowd
watching me from afar

your sea green eyes glitters
your warm smiles shines
dont rush to me sweetheart
cause love is all about timing

ps: yeah, i know this is all cheesy, mushy cuppy cake romantic stuff that i particular hate. but im feeling romantic now. and may i assure you that all characters are fiction. so dont bother yourself. oh, this sudden interest in words rhyming? i dont know where it came from.

sometime the storms just happen

2009-09-25T01:14:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i have made the right choices
sometimes i wonder if i have the right to live
sometimes i wonder everything and end up empty

the longer my heart keep beating
he harder it is for me to make a decision
the harder for me to believe in myself
the harder for me to walk the path in front of me

as if a thick mist suddenly clouded my vision
daze and confuse i kept walking
not knowing where i go
i become lost and more lost
deeper into the unknown darkness

i cried for help
but the sounds didnt come out
or is it there's just no one around
or is it there's just don't want to hear it

so i stop, tired and frustrated.
hoping that god will have mercy
and save me from this confusion

101st entry is a lil bit emo

2009-09-18T16:47:00.002+08:00

Yes, I'm super sensitive.

No, NOT PMS.
Just when it came to some sticky, clingy, can't get rid dirt like you all.
My temper just as thick as the skin.

-insert title here-

2009-09-08T15:27:00.002+08:00

salam and good day people!

When I write too much (and don't really talk) that is a sign of stressful day, get away from me of you don't want to be a victim of my anger. A day such as today.

Again! I just feeling under too much stress these days. The fact that im no longer living by myself and surounded by my friends has been the only thing keeping me sane and sober. I sigh countless times. Cries bucket and tormenting myself with the word 'why?'

I'm just hoping for a miracle here. while eating. My remedy for sadness. i know its ramadhan. what i mean is treating myself with big, sumptous breaking fast feast. yeah, it doesnt do me any good. Yalah kan all the pimples from eating chicken and all those kilos from all the fat and carbs.

anyway, need to checked the to do list now.

happy tuesday people!

premonition?

2009-09-05T16:16:00.002+08:00

Salam and Good Day (again!) people.

Two post in one day? Amazing huh?

Anyway, I'm stuck in the lab. The library is closed and i forgot to bring my pendrive.
So, i can't continue on my writing. Like i would actually do it if I did eh?

You all must be wondering why the hell I'm here in the faculty on weekends huh? No?

Well, my weekends usually spent in KL at my sis place. This weekend is somewhat special cause i got too much work to do and the problem is I don't know how to do it. Bummer.

I don't know if it got anything to do with my feelings right now. cause im feeling like something is out of place. You know that kind of feeling when you need to do something but you can't remember what. and it makes you feel miserable the whole day. Good thing is I'm quite good at camouflage'ing' my emotion like that. (but some people do able to read me very shockingly easily).

Crap.

Looks like my friend has finish her lab work. Till next time peeps!

A minute of Happiness

2009-09-05T11:26:00.003+08:00

salam and good day people!

How was your Ramadhan? Great? No? Me too!

Last Monday is a holiday and coming Monday is gonna be a holiday too. I would be thrill and jumping if I am not the student-who-needs-to-finish-her-thesis. Damn! Now the joyful Tuesday gonna be the the new Black Monday. I hate and Love Monday btw.

Last week, i got the band needed. No, not boyband or rockband or hair band. Its the PCR product i needed to finish up my thesis. That tiny little distinctive line beside the DNA ladder indicating it have 500++ bp.

Mazeltov! Eureka!

But i was a genius fool at screwing myself and i throw the gel away.

Urghhhhh!!!!!

It was no big deal at first since i have another 23ul stored.

But since i just got hell of 'good' luck in me the band mysteriously vanished when i run it on gel for the second time. You just couldn't imagine how frustrated, remorseful, angry and sad I was.

Now i have to start over with only 5 weeks left for the semester. Bummer.

Well, good news is.. Wait. I don't have any good news. Crap.

Anyway, Have a nice weekend people!

Visual aid

2009-08-28T12:02:00.004+08:00

This is a long overdue pictures about 2 weeks ago. During the 37th UKM convocation ceremony. The location is as usual the scenic Putrajaya that we treat as our backyard. Since I'm pretty much worn and feeling a bit limited on my diction today. What about enjoying images instead eh?

THe BAYu Gang (M.I.A tuya)

These sequence of pictures is to show that how we can be so g***x at the presence of a technology so perfect and highly useful called camera.

Our first attempt on jumping photography technique that has long ago swarming the internet sites such as facebook, friendster and myspace of their jumping pictures.

Not to forget CONGRATULATIONS! to all my friends that officially graduated last week. Especially to my crime partners NANA, LILO, TUYA and ADA. To the Plant Biotechnology class of 2009 and also to Mr. You're-not-worth-it. And Lots of love to my new housemate Siti, Cikin, k.Yana, Dila and Ija.

CONGRATULATIONS!
it is much to my dismay that i cannot graduated with you amazing peeps! (T_T)

*some of the pictures are a little bit grainy since i uploaded it to be small size.

stop and take a break for a while

2009-08-19T09:19:00.003+08:00

salam and good day people!

Hows your day today? mine? Been hectic and happy one (at least for my friends).

. Today is the last day for fooling around. I was appointed as the unofficial photographer/'please hold this for me' person by my friends with only 'if you still want to be friends with us, take pictures for us' threat as payment. No, im just kidding.

. Yeah, today is the supposedly The Day. I have mix feelings. I am not really sad, a little happy but absolutely no remorse. Did I lost the ability to feel? No, thats just me. At times. When in need to.

. Tomorrow mom and dad will be going back to Kuching. A flight that i should be in it. Anyway, will be sending them to KL sentral tomorrow. Aha...off my big ass to KL tomorrow. This commuting thing has taken the energy out of me and a hole in my pocket. Better start staying home and just blaja jak kat bilit ya. But what to do? They is afterall my parents eh.

. Ramadhan is just in a few days. I intend to make the best of it. And I will. Wish me peeps.

. Hence, I want to say sorry to all. I ask for forgiveness if in anyway i hurt you peeps with words that have been written here or comments that i have given.

p/s: Something and Whatever happen today, it got me thinking 'just what the hell happen to me that got me into this mess?'

The Frustration Begins

2009-08-07T14:28:00.003+08:00

Salam and Good Day!

Today is Friday and the weather is sunny and it is a beautiful day but the haze ruin it.

It's Friday people! Friday! (no, im not excited!) Another week has gone by with no good news from my lab. Im frustrated and im sure any molecular biologist out there would understand how frustrating it can be when what you do is depended 99% of pure luck and Do'a. They rest 1% is your understanding of the subject. This is the last step that can drag your research months and months or fcuk even years.Sometime you just have to do it all over again from the first step and some people can just give up (like me!) or they'll never want to do molecular again and jump to the tissue culture thingy.

This can be supported by the fact that almost everyone that is applying for a master programme in my batch did other than molecular biology project for their thesis/final year project. Then they will suffer for two-four years because molec bio just make your hair fall. I'm worried. Very worried. I just hope and pray the week after next week will be a good (damn it will be great!) week for me and my sequencing cDNA project.

Ironically much, even if i very much h*** what i do now im thinking of furthering my study in this particular field (preferably oversea im done with UKM). and if i do that, someone please marry me. everyone in this lab im in right now is single , man! and they like what? 25? 26? Im not saying that they alreaady too old but at least i want a boyfriend! im not going and will not end up with someone from the same lab. coz its gross. its like marrying your own brother! No! its grosser than that! euuwwww......

Next week, Tuesday specifically i will be in Penang with beloved parents and my hate/love little brother and not forgotten the reason we'll be there, my 4th big brother whose convocation we'll be attending. I'll be there for 5 days. This is going to be my first trip to anywhere in Malaysia with my both my parents and im not bluffing. Its true. and then another week in KL. time to shop people! heheheheh.......

and an outing (if i have the guts) on the weekend with Mr.you're-still-a-maybe-but-my-mom-already-love-you-for-her-son-in-law-candidate.

wanted to post something but no idea waht.

2009-08-03T11:51:00.002+08:00

salam and good day peeps!

i am supposed to be at the lab right now. but im here wasting time. so, might as well waste alot of time kan? heheh.... Next week im going to attend my bro's, Iskandar graduation ceremony. he is 24 (i think?) and he finish school outstandingly. me? well just gonna be the day cameraman. acc to flight ticket, we (my parents and my little bro) will be there at p.pinang for a 5 days from monday. that means i will not be attending class. and that worries me. so, im considering to balik on wednesday. just as the ceremony ended. still thinking coz tickets has been bought.

after p.pinang, my parents will come crashing KL for another 5 days. my sis yang pemalas oredy memberi mandat to me to entertain my parents. since she'll be working and im the student. in other words i can skip class, she can't skip work. most of you would think that just let my parents do their own thing kan? my father maybe, but my mum not. My mother never leaves home more than 24 hours except for major events such as this. so, someone needs to be with her at the condo while my bro and dad go jalan2 pusing kl. coz i bet she said these 'malas mak nk turun dibah ya, dah la rame org penin palak mak'. hahahahahha~~~~

i miss Clyde. long time oledy never heard ur news.

and yeah, i was at the scene. the demonstration at jalan tar. scary and exciting. dont worry im not one of the protestors. dont even know that they protesting about at first. silly kan? me and my sis are cursing at the helis for the loud noise pagi2 (bygkan la the helis terbang about the same height of our condo's lot at 9am) and wondering what major things could have happen to sogo. robbery? multiple car accident? or just some people going crazy for the malaysian mega sale? even after having b/fast when we decided to to midvalley to jalan at the iium career carnival which is really sucks we still got no idea whats happening. double silly kan? but we terserempak with one of our neighbour and she explain that some kind of demonstration is going on downstairs. scared? no! we were excited! (at least thats what we initially feel).

and so, curious and excited we decided to stick to the plan and check it out. everything is just as what you see on tv. minus the keganasan yang berlebihan. it really wasn't that bad. just at some point things got bad with the gas. when they called it pemedih mata yes it indeed memedihkan mata, choke ur nose and ur skin feels pedih too. a few hours after they sembur the gas, it condense into water and evaporates again and it still stinks the eye. and i can assure you people. you dont want it (the demo) to happen everytime the pembangkang and kjaan got some conflicting views. coz it is bad to our economy and scared the investors and the tourist too. so, peace!

.what?.

2009-07-23T10:47:00.003+08:00

salam and hello peeps?

how are you doing today?

since i just went back from my physic class. lets make an equation

t (campus) = t(internet)

t(internet)/(lab work+ classes) x mood= blog entry

since im not on campus ground so often my internet time decreased dramatically now. and any free time will be divided for lab work and classes. thus, the remaining free time is depended on my mood. which lately only emits dark aura. so, no blog entry.

hope that explain everything.

2009-07-13T11:30:00.002+08:00

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah :
seorang manusia pastinya!

2. Saya sedang mendengar :
do you know- richard clayderman

3. Mungkin saya patut:
makan..

4. Saya suka :
my alpha yg baru kluar dr bengkel

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya :
tahu saya sgt sayang pada mereka

6.Saya tak paham :
kenapa mesti pegi sekolah. joking!

7.Saya kehilangan:
kata-kata

8.Ramai yang berkata :
dh hbs la tesis ko?

9.Makna nama saya :
(bkn nk tipoo, sy faham bila org selalu salah sangka pada saya)
singa betina

10.Cinta itu adalah :
perasaan.

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang :
sakit perut

12.Saya akan cuba :
telefon ayah pasni

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud :
infiniti...tu pun tatau ka?

14.Telefon bimbit saya :
adalah telefon ayah saya

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur :
dapat tido lagi ka?

16.Saya paling meluat apabila :
kita xcuba memahami

17.Pesta/Parti adalah :
peristiwa

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah :
tak tau

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah :
hermmm......10-15 old enough to know things but young enough to make mistake without being jail. :-p

20.Hari ini:
masok ke rumah sewa

21.Malam ini saya akan :
tido

22.Esok pula saya akan :
masok lab lagi

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan :
kepastian

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini :
okeh!

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan :
umah

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun :
sarawak dishes

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap :
gelap

28.Makanan segera adalah :
good and guilty

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
thanks!

30.Siapa yang anda nak Tag?
peeps yang ada masa terluang

good day everyone!

quick recap

2009-07-09T11:14:00.002+08:00

salam to all,

hello and good day guys! (and girls too!)

okay, i have alot on my mind rite now and i really wanted to splurged everything but i running out of time here. so just a quick and important one.

first of all, im still studying! due to some problems in my final year project i will be continuing it for one more semester. that's the the nice way to put it but more like i'm repeating one subject. hurray for me i'm still a student and so, don't forget to sent me angpau's for this raya.

secondly, i'm running out of luck! i really believe that someone is playing around with me because things keep getting on a bad turn. refer to the first one.

third, should i live in campus or off campus?

fourth, i'm broke! but i still can live by.

thats about all that i can think of now. im happy and thankful to Allah for whatever that had happen.

whatever that don't kill you makes you stronger rite?

watch the vid

2009-05-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

sakit

2009-05-29T19:46:00.003+08:00

salam peep! how is your health today?
sore throat and flu
what a great timing huh?
when i really need myself to be great and healthy!

i hate clinics and hospital
(apa tek ira? bkn ko mok jadi dokter ka dolok? :-p)
so, as usual i sleep all the time. hoping that i would get better like i always do.
and the weird thing is i am hungry and i want to eat.
maybe because i already spending my day sleeping.
for more than 12 hours.

and you know what?
i almost thought that i've had h1n1.
you know being me just got back from travelling using airports.
hahahah...sometime i can be so hypochondriac!

okayla, maybe i am already recovering. i am extremely hiungry and my runny nose has stop. yeay! back to work. before that i want to stuff me with food!

thats what i called perkhidmatan cemerlang!

2009-05-28T13:59:00.003+08:00

salam people! Today i feel happy. Nothing happen particularly. Just it is a great day today.

Anyway, today me and my friend went to the Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam at Putrajaya today. We got some sort of things to deal with as we are graduating. Now, we always heard news about how lousy a government office service right? how they are not friendly and not coorperative at all. Me personally never experience that but what happen to me today gave me doubts that it's true at all.

We arrive at Putrajaya with no difficulties. At the gate we are greeted by the guards. At first we just head on straight to the parking for visitors. Sadly no parking space. It seems that there are alot of visitor, taktau la kan if the pekerja oso park at visitors punya car park but parking space sure is extremely limited.We had to go around since its a one way street and masok balik from the gate. This time we decided to ask the guards and it seems that there is another place for parking. So, after wondering around for about 5 minutes finally there is a space.

From the parking space, we had to walk about 200 metre to the building. We register ourselves at the counter (penting ni tau!) and we will be given a visitor card. Then up the lift to level 5. This is why I cakap penting, to enter the office we need the visitor card. Without the visitor card you cannot enter the office. Satu hal lagi kan nk turun balik. Masok the office we settle whats needed to.

you must be wondering, why the hell la i story about this kan? I am just absolutely amazed! from the moment we met the guard we are treated so courteously. They all smile and i dont felt a bit uncomfortable at all! i walked out from the building feeling satisfied. The service are top notch and should be taken as example!

Home

2009-05-22T22:33:00.004+08:00

went back kl on sunday. a week flies by like the water in the stream. oblivious but meaningful. same old thing. the family problem. sometime i just couldnt help but to laugh as i get used to it but i felt creepy. cause its not normal. there are so many things. even talking is not so hard anymore. since me at home is known as the quite one. so, i dont have to pretend talking trash.

going back home after such a long time (i lied, only for 6 months its not a long time for some people kan?) is a bliss. a big difference is of course food. i was raise with my mothers cooking. we rarely go out to eat. when i say rarely i mean really rare. to us going out eating is like watching haley comet and heavenly. yeah, thats an exxageration. but really rare. only when my mum dont felt like cooking or she's sick or she's not home but all these happens really rare. so, we always eat at home. and our brain get so used to it that we always think our mothers cooking is the best. yeah, i know its lame since everyone would think their mother is the best but really. my mum cooks really delicious meal. my mum cooks the best laksa sarawak in town. hoho~~~ ok, back to the topic. since ive been away for too long w/o my mum's cooking. even if my mum just goreng telur for me i will dig in like a starving kid. its just so out of the world to once again bud awakening tongue shocking familiar taste once more. hahahah...so lame kan?

another familiar thing is the sound of kids sprawling around the house. no! i dont have little brothers and sisters that would go around with their neverending energy but since i was little my mum would babysit few kids. always from little baby until pre-school. from the last 2 years, my mum has babysit this little girl named fatin and his 4 year old brother amar. being a naughty little boy he is not hated but my brothers just not friendly with him. more so that he came to our house when he is three not adorable anymore. but his little sister which is 2months old was adorable little kid. my dad and brothers adore her. hahah~~and the noise they make its irritating but at the same time they're adorable.

away from the major things, me coming back last week is at a great timing. i manage to go to my aunts birthday party and to our batch gathering in sematan. sweet~~ will cerita more if i have time. got to really face the reality head on!

Zee Avi 'Bitter Heart'

2009-05-22T11:04:00.001+08:00

There's nothing really i can say about this rising star.
she even have been featured in youtube.
recording artist in the US.
see it for yourself

Still Down

2009-05-15T11:31:00.002+08:00

salam all. This morning, awal2 lagi I get ready to go to the faculty. So, i sit there at the foyer waiting for my beloved supervisor. After a couple hours there he is in his room. cursing myself. coz you know his habit is if he is in the room he would not close his door. but today he did! so, all the two hours is just flying away, fruitless. just like my meeting with him just now.

note for me is i can never be a teacher. cancel my plan or was it my mum's.? coz today he ask me a question that i clearly just read last nite. and when i wanted to open my mouth trying to explain step by step in a diagram (juast like he requested) i went blank. and me myself along with him are down into the swirl of confusion. it ticks me off and he seem to have the face 'you idiot ka?'. but i brush it off coz reading people's face especially things that may bring you down will make you crush into pieces as i have gone through last few months. recovering from that is a difficult thing.

so the conclusion for the first 12 hour of today is the ayat keramat he will said to me at the end of each meeting. i am so pissed off, frustrated and hungry. coz the thing is i want to settle these thing by monday. so i can fly back feeling a little bit relieved and also when i come back on monday the 25th of may i can continue my lab since everything is ready by then.

and today i wanted to go down to kl. to hantar some of my sis things back. and also to see hafiz. but these thing hold me back. i wonder what i should do? should i go back today and came back by monday or should i stay until monday?

Aku Nak Ngerepak Jap

2009-05-14T21:11:00.002+08:00

aritok aku rasa sgt la down. continuous dari rasa sedih ari marek, malam tadik pun xdpt tido gilak. naseb ada kawan sorang ya melayan kerenah aku. thank you2! walaupun kawan aku ya xtauk betapa aku rasa down malam tadik and betapa juak nya sik tauk selepas heavy conversation kmk duak, aku rasa mood sedikit lift up. dapatla aku tido tersenyum bukan sedih2 pk aku tinggal sorang2 jak. walaupun hakikatnya aku ada 3 lagi roomate yg aku sik la kenal gilak dalam blit bersama aku.

tp aritok roomate2 aku ya suma dah balit ke negeri kelantan dimana cdak nang berasal dari sia. jd, officially aku nang tinggal sorang kat bilit untuk dua org di kolej ibrahim yaakub tok. tp naseb bait ptg tadik aku terimak ym dari sorang ahli sindiket angin bayu madah mok numpang tido malam tok kat bilit aku. jd, belum la aku keseorangan gik.

selain dari ya tesis aku yang tertangguh menunjukkan perkembangan positif. aku rasa kesal juak coz mun aku bangkit dari depression dolok awal mintak petunjuk dari tuhan maybe aku dah selamat viva dan boleh mendeclarekan dirik habis degree tp sekarang tok mcm tok la. aku extend 2bulan nyambung molah lab. dalam 2-3 hari tok ngadap doktor merangkap penyelia kesayangan aku ya nanyak pasal pencetus atau nama pemesnya dikalangan org2 molekular biologis 'primer'.

tesis aku tok bak kata research assistant kat lab aku ya mun dapat result boleh dapat master or doctorate terus. coz miak master yang sama lab ngan aku pun molah tajuk yang hampir sama ngan aku. dan fyi, student master ya dh 4sem molah tp sik dpt2 result gik. aku memohon petunjuk Allah s.w.t supaya mempermudahkan perjalanan tesis aku q(~.~)p Ameen. yalah aku stressed gilak tok. duak tiga kali dah jumpa penyelia aku ya, soalan aku xdijawab, nya dah nanyak solan lain ngan aku. yang aku stressed gik, soalan nya suma lihai2 aku sik dpt jawab. jd, kata keramat nya diakhir setiap perbincangan adalah 'awak balik bace n cari jawapan, pastu awak jumpa saya lagi terangkan pada saya'. yang aku xpuas ati nang bgus juak nya nanyak solan ya ngan aku tp aku dah kesuntukan masa. nk order primer gik. nang molah RACE ya gik. jd, aku dengan alasan untuk mendapa angin baru decide aku akan pulang ke kuching pada 18 mei tok tanpa rasa bersalah. ya! i need to recharge!

setakat tok jak la untuk malam tok, aku tgh homesick. lamak dah xbalit kuching. maka post tok aku taip dalam bahasa sawak. sorilah kepada pembaca yang sik paham. walaupun sori tok dihujung post aku sik tauk sampei ke ctok ka ktkorg baca. wahahahahha.....

Seriously missing you!

2009-05-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

Oh, Sindiket angin bayu!
seriously missing you all so very much
huhu...terase sangat sorang2 kat ukm nih.
dpt msg cida saying she's on the bus heading home ptg td
and me sudah sebak di dada
and while writing this me on the verge of crying

(T_T)

thanks for the wonderful years we've been through together
dealing with our naivety during freshmen year
maturing thru the second years
and accepting the truth and harshness of life in the third year here.
Me MISS you so MUCH!

If You Can Afford Me

2009-05-11T15:31:00.005+08:00

download

If you want me, a cherry on top
The pick of the peck, the crème de la crop
If you want me you better
Do better than that tonight, oh, oh

If you want me, it takes more than a wink
And more than a drink, more than you think
If you want me you?re gonna
Have to break the bank tonight

'Cause some don?t have the patience
Some call me high-maintenance
But you pay the bill, 'cos that?s the deal

If you wanna ride, just name your price
And don?t play cheap with your heart
Don?t make a bet if you can?t write the cheque for me, for me
'Cause I can be bought but you?ll pay the cost
If you can afford me

If you want me, I?m not a piece of ass
A one night stand, a storage shed
I think you better walk by tonight
Oh no

If you want me, then stop begging
I don?t put it out for charity
If you want me there?s no
Discount price tonight

But I don?t need your dollar bills
I just want something real
'Cause nothing?s free, except a loving me

If you wanna ride, just name your price
And don?t play cheap with your heart
Don?t make a bet if you can?t write the cheque for me, for me
'Cause I can be bought but you?ll pay the cost
If you can afford me

If you want me, a cherry on top
The pick of the peck, the crème de la crop

If you wanna ride, just name your price
And don?t play cheap with your heart
Don?t make a bet if you can?t write the cheque for me, for me
'Cos I can be bought but you?ll pay the cost
If you can afford me

If you wanna ride, just name your price
And don?t play cheap with your heart
Don?t make a bet if you can?t write the cheque for me, for me
'Cos I can be bought but you?ll pay the cost
If you can afford me

-think and understand-

*Esp To that SomeOne

24 hours ago..

2009-05-09T19:06:00.007+08:00

salam and hello peeps!

pretty much worn out
say, enjoy these pics..

at sg.tekala
-location survey-

at putraya
-sindiket angin bayu-

at tasik kejut
-class picnic-

pretty much some up my day for 2 days ago...

gotta recharge before monday
ciao!

Just WTF!

2009-05-08T17:57:00.003+08:00

Something really wrong with my cam!
few hours ago me n some friends went to jalan2

as usual i take pictures la kan
then, suddenly 'treet..treeettt'
the camera lenses cannot focus
wtf!

change to manual..still can take pictures la
but everytime want to on/off the camera
the horrible, awful, heart wrenching sounds come out again
wtf!

next week need to go to sony service centre
ask whats wrong
nasib baek still dalam warranty.

2009-05-06T11:24:00.005+08:00

when the time actually came. i froze. i couldnt think rationally. a friend word make me realize maybe i dont love myself enough? maybe. if not i will not think of that. i will not think of that everyday. i will not think of that every damn second im awake or even when i am unconcious.

she said some more things. it got me think some more. yeah, i cannot love myself. i can never love myself if i dont love the almighty ALLAH s.w.t with my every speech, act, thought, and even my mere existence.

to that friend who didnt even know that she has said some things that can change my life. thanks!

its that time of the month

2009-05-04T08:24:00.003+08:00

salam and morning to all
its that time of the month
when im broke and will be until i found myself a job

moving on to unrelated topic
from now on
i have to be persuasive, oblivious and ignorant
because if im not these things
i am dead
because i was consideratelah i am in this mess
people dont take you seriously
so, wtf im going there and put a muka tembok face
i, starting from now on will not be bothered by small things
and be brave!

and thats for some self motivation section.

have a nice monday everyone!

I'm Back To Planet Earth

2009-04-30T19:29:00.003+08:00

Salam All,
Final Exam is done!
yeay!
but note for me: DONT GET TOO EXCITED
still got thesis

To peeps yg cannot reach me by phone
yeah, now you can.

Sorry to all yg give comment but me dont reply
at fbuk, fs, email, or anything
me got time to read but no time to reply
i ocassonally muncul on fbuk but have to quickly sign out before addicted.
hahahhaha......

anyway, now that i'm back
hooray for me!

i've won!

2009-04-18T16:53:00.003+08:00

i didn't actually win anything :P
but i am so honoured to k.ejanz
that have been awarding me with 2 award

"The Lemonade Award is given to sites which the giver shows either great attitude and/or gratitude"

The rules for this award are:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

I'm awarding this Lemonade Award to these people:

Sai, Randy, Cipot, Faizah, Farhan, Nora and Wawan.

Another one the Blogger Friendship Award

I am awarding this award to:

Aiman, Khairul Onggon, Yatt, Farhana, Nana, Rizal, Husaini and Hanam.

HAve a nice day everyone.
This is my last post before my exam. Catch you all again after my exam.

apa dah jadi?

2009-04-18T15:42:00.005+08:00

salam peeps!
I just got back from KL
tired but before me menghilangkan diri sebelom masok minggu exam
i want to just share some things here

as you all know i went to pesta buku yesterday.

masok2 jak bhgn booth pts ya i already spotted enchek alif
with your tall figure and turun 2kg dalam masa 1tahun..who can't?
some person and invisible man tgh buat pengumuman.
i wanted to take pictue of the invisible man but got some problem..
yeah...he's invisible.
this year mcm kecik jak booth pts.

super very shy at that time
masa ya still juggle with the idea tego ka sik, tego ka sik.
eksen jap nangga buku, gila nebes.. xtauk pahal
ALIF, Alan Alone and Aku

naseb bait he remember my pen name, ms.happy
sik tauk la pa nak buat if he doesnt remember me.
maybe i run away with my face burning from perasaan malu

after that i literally smack my head
what am i doing?
smile, thanks and bye?
argghhhhh!!!
mesti nya pk aku tok pelik.

yes i am quite pemalu around people i don't mingle in everyday life
i might be outspoken with somebody and quite like a rat with another person
and so very cool in my blog but outside..aiyooo

and i jumpa dr.fazley
he is still good looking even married now

these few weeks are WEIRD
i feels like someone has been applying pheromones on my body
and all these bees are coming for me.
it is confusing and bedazzling

like there is a sign on my head
'looking for a boyfriend'
which I am NOT.

is this a test?

my weekend plan!

2009-04-15T21:47:00.002+08:00

this friday there will be Pesta buku at PWTC!
for a book lover like me, it is a must go event
have been going without fail since im in kl
hahahahah

im going on friday the 17 and saturday the 18
why?
on the 17, i hv a date with enchek alif!
and on the 18,
im thinking of going to tayangan filem-filem pendek
which also will be held at PWTC. sweet huh?
and if my luck is on me maybe cik din too?
and im thinking of going on a date.
still not sure though.

and of course, this week is our study week
im having 4 paper this semester
and dont worry im planning on studying
hahahha....yes2 im studying
*it doesnt seem convincing aite?..hehehhe
made you think 'yea rite!

ermm...ya rite! made myself a record today!
since last nite i have NOT sign into my fb!
isn't that good news!hahhaha

anyway, to all malaysian ipt students!
good luck in your final exam!

yerp..tag!

2009-04-14T09:25:00.004+08:00

have been delaying these tag by sai.
'nah ko sai!'

*******************************
Mobile Phone Tag
*******************************

1. What is your mobile phone brand?
xpasti...yg pasti nokia

2. When did you buy it?
sama ngan sai...bapak ku mpun,

3. What color your mobile phone is?
hitam kali...lamak gilak dh pudar warna nya.

4. How many messages are in your inbox?
17...aku xska msg gilak..mun penting call jak

5. Who gave you SMS recently ?
linda...coursemateku

6. What picture became your wallpaper?
xda pa theme2

7. Please state:

- Missed called : rabiatul...

- Received called : nana

- Dialled Numbers : my father

8. Why you like your mobile phone?
sbb boleh pake untuk call org...duh?? pa gik reason nya?

9. How long did you use your mobile phone?
sejak matrik...4 tahun?

10. SMS ( Tagged ) People :
xda spa2

***********************
Birthday Tag
***********************

The rules :~
1. Make a list of what you want on your birthday
2. The list should be 10 numbers

List what i want for my birthday.

1.)harap aku dh dapat kerja tahun depan
2.harap aku dh dapat lesen kereta n moto
3.) harap aku dapat melancong
4.)harap aku dapat upgrade my kamera
5.)harap aku dapat kuruskan badan sebelom konvo bulan 8 tok.
6.)harap aku dapat sambong master kat uni of ............ :p
7.)harap aku dapat konvo taun tok.
8.)harap aku dapt master mandarin language, n jepun uhuks!
9.) harap aku dapat bukak bisnes coffee shop aku ya dalam 10 tahun gik?
10.)harap suma org sihat walafiat
* aku tauk sik chronologically susun. tp aku duli apa! hahahah

3. Post the image of this award in your posting
apa tek?

4. Give it to 10 friends of yours
huh?

***********************
Purse Tag
***********************

1~snap the picture of both inner and outer of your purse

2~Introduce your purse brand,price n where u buy

Brand:Seed
Price: xtauk...my sista xmok guna gik so she gave it to me
have been using it since forever..bulak la.. tp mena dr form3 aku pake...hebat x??.

3~take out whatever its inside ur purse

benda besa2. ic, kad atm, kad matrik, membership mph, kad belajar driving, ya jak la. small simple purse. aku xpande make purse besar2.

4~tagged other 7 person
xda sapa2..

5~Comment on ur fren's (who tagged u) purse..
hermm...typical guys wallet.

its a beautiful monday morning and then.....

2009-04-13T07:33:00.004+08:00

studying here there are some thing you have to get used to
yup, monkeys!
they got all the species here. i mean it!

the pictures above taken aoutside my bedrrom windows
not very clear since of course
they won't stop and strike a pose for me
do they?

and because of these creatures
i locked myself out of my room
snap, snap, snap
and i took the wrong keys for my room.
damn! gone my precious 30 minutes
and have to go to the administration office with my out of bed face
thank god iast night i decided to use a more appropriate
sweat pants and super size shirt
rather than only....
uhuks!

minna! ogenki desuka?

2009-04-11T22:07:00.004+08:00

salam all!
(^_^!)
ive been weird huh
sorry you all have to 'witness' my up and down emotional turmoil

remember my two weeks absence
THAT is still a problem til yesterday
and yesterday was somehow the peak of it.

ive always been a person that don't talk about what i really feel
on things that i feel private, no one should be bothered about
things that i dont discuss with anyone including my parents.

so, when i actually wants to talk about it
i dont really talk actually but i just cried
like a child losing her fav toy
i let it all out, the emotion that is
in front of someone that i really dont think i would ever

i thought i was strong enough
i imagine all the possiblity, the expected even the unexpected (i even made up a script!)
but still not these kind of reaction, human being are amazing

but i just felt like finally i can really smile again
with all those feelings bottle up inside of me now poured out
and i can actually be the things that i want
ms. happy
(^.^)

*somehow its weird to have such a happy blog name but a depressed, loner, and suicidal owner.

fool vs coward

2009-04-09T23:35:00.004+08:00

the difference between a coward and a fool is

a fool just clueless and don't know anything
but a coward knows what he/she should do
but just too oblivious to get it done right

to be a fool is better than a coward.
but im sorry to say that i am a coward.

-nite-

right now..

2009-04-08T21:45:00.001+08:00

aku ingin pergi jauh

excuses.excuses.excuses.

2009-04-08T02:30:00.004+08:00

one of the many things that i hate the most is
giving excuses

regardless lah kan if i mention why, they would soften up a bit
like the events that just happen.
because no matter how i want to blame others at the end of it,
its just going to be my fault.

like what just happen. i lose the file.
i should have been more careful!
damn!
since it was a hasty work,
and i have to send it by tonite
(just emailed it btw)
it was not my best.

i didn't mention it to him of course.
that will show how careless i am.
i just said sorry for not doing my best.

see? im making excuses! i hate it.
im making excuses for sending my work late and not doing a good job.

namirah, get a grip!

WHAT THE???

2009-04-07T19:27:00.003+08:00

Today IS a bad day!
huh!
few minutes before i'm doing this,
i was doing my extra work for a biotech company in Bangi
some research thingy

i wanted to save it.
then, poof!
EVERYTHING IS GONE!
and i can't recover the stupid document!!

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!
and worst is i have to email it tonight!!!

just unbelievable, the boss just called me asking about it!
i have to do it all over again.
arrr!!! backup nami! save backup!
and my head just won't listen to me!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

'Okey, You! NOW!'

2009-04-07T15:37:00.007+08:00

Today was not a good half day

well since there is 7 hours left

but it wasn't bad either.

i got one hour class for today.

which is the last class for this particular subject

the plant-microbe interaction

after finishing the lecture

one person suppose to be presenting a summary

concerning the 10-page paperwork that due this friday

i was not feeling anxious at all.

(thats a bad thing!)

so, dr.munir solemnly said 'who did question 1'

me with confidence said 'ME!'

of course i was lying!

I was sitting in front and he was standing less than one metre in front of me.

i just raise my hand, smile and softly said 'me!'

'okey, you, present!

then, i reached my bag. take my pouch and take my pendrive.

WAIT A SEC! ITS NOT IN HERE!

shit! i left it in the library!

there goes my day.

naseb bait the lect was such a baek hati.

'so?' he said

'pendrive takde la dr' says me.

'tak pelu la buat muke camtu, pendrive je' 'sape lagi buat solan 1'

right after class i practically ran to the library

and ALHAMDULILLAH

its there, just right where i left it

stupid me!

see, it wasnt that bad at all aite?

but tomorrow never knows.

i have the feeling that this week is going to be......